Dan Reynolds tells me that I’m getting older in “WITHOUT W.”
There are typically three radio stations that I will cycle through on my way to work, 95.5, 96.7 and 107.9. The commute is not a long one, so I tend to be particular when it comes to the music that plays during the drive, as there isn’t really enough time for the songs to just fade in the background.
One morning a few days ago, as I exit the driveway, the unfortunately familiar voice of Taylor Swift briefly fills the cabin. This prompts a quick thumbing of the channel controls on my steering wheel and the opening of whatever Swift song was playing is replaced by the chorus of “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons. Pleased with the results, I carry on with my commute, none the wiser to the unfortunate realization that would soon dawn upon me.
A few minutes later, Dan Reynolds gives way to Steven Tyler and I’m given some pause.
Aerosmith? On Top-40’s pop radio? That’s almost unheard of. I glance down at my dashboard and notice that, no, it’s not 95.5 or 96.7 that I’ve been tuned in to, but rather 107.9. The confusion does not dissipate with this newfound information, however. The lyrics of “Dream On” currently reverberating through my vehicle suddenly make sense, but it only raises another question.
Imagine Dragons? A realization starts to settle in, but I don’t like it at all. 107.9 props itself up as a station where they play classic hits and classic rock. Typically, it’s songs from the 70s, 80s and 90s, with a few 2000s mixed in. But “Radioactive” didn’t come out until 2012. It wasn’t even really on the radio until 2013. The reason I know this is because I graduated in 2013; I remember it being one of the biggest songs of that summer.
But that was over a decade ago now. I thought it was bad when I heard a Weezer or Beck song on 107.9, but I guess even Imagine Dragons can be considered “classic rock.”
I guess that means I’m officially old now. This whole year, I feel like I’ve been just telling myself that I was 30 the whole time, perhaps as a way to soften the blow. Like a mechanical odometer, the “3” in the tens place was slowly starting to push the “2” out of the picture and I figured it would be easier to just think that my 20s were already in the rearview mirror.
But when that “2” was completely shoved out the backdoor this past weekend, it still felt a bit odd. Even with all that mental preparedness I thought I had been doing, entering a third decade just did not exactly compute. My parents were in their 30s for much of my childhood; I surely couldn’t be as old as they were then. It just did not really make sense.
In a lot of ways, it’s a bit odd to dwell on being 30 instead of 29. In most ways, I don’t feel any different than I did on my last birthday, or the birthday before that. It’s just an arbitrary number after a point. We all have a limited time here, and that limited time is different for everyone, so comparing close ages becomes a bit of a moot point when considering that. But there’s definitely that weird mental block, that same one that makes a $29.99 deal sound so much more enticing than a $30 one. OÍÍne that forces you to reflect.
There are times where I wonder where the time has gone. The laundry list of projects, half-done or just trapped in my mind, begins to pile up, potential timelines thrown completely to the wind in the face of reality. I don’t think there’s ever any escaping that, but rather it is just brought to focus thanks to some arbitrary number of times I’ve gone around the sun. But with those reflections also come the list of things that I’ve managed to do. I won’t pretend that it is a particularly impressive list, but when I think about it, it’s enough for me.
Anyway, I know radio stations typically take requests for songs to play, but I’d like to make one to remove a song from their playlist instead. 107.9, if you wouldn’t mind taking “Radioactive” off your list, I would appreciate it. While I like the song, the existential dread just isn’t worth it. Thanks.
Leave a Reply